The Best

This one's for my best friend Jess,
The one with the golden heart and godliness,
Some might say she's just like the rest,
But I gotta say fuck you, she's the best,
Now mind you, she doesn't use the word fuck,
But to me it's better than a buck,
See she's like a reality check,
A real ace from the deck,
'Cause no matter how far ya go,
She's there to keep you in tow,
She's like a silly rock in a serious storm,
While you might lose it she keeps form,
A wife, mother, daughter and friend,
She sticks with you 'till the end,
I've had many people come and go,
But she's always front and center for this crazy show,
She's the best a friend could ask for,
With her as a friend I'll never be poor,
Cause she's the best,
She's my best friend Jess.

Change

I spent the morning and most of the afternoon going over some of my old writings and I've come to two main conclusions. One, I can tell that over the years my writing has gotten better, which encourages me to write more. However, my best stuff is really depressing and even now I can't seem to write "happy" poems. Maybe this is because I find "happy" to be boring and "dark" to be more truthful, intriguing and challenging to the "norm". Maybe it's just because I can relate to the darker side of life more. Whatever it is, I'm pretty good at it - if I do say so myself - and will most likely write more. Secondly, I noticed how much I've really changed over the last four years. My thoughts, views and feelings about everything have completely changed. I believe that, for the most part they've changed for the better, but I can't help missing parts of that person I used to be. I was so innocent and unaware of the real tragedies of life, yet so ready to meet the unknown head on. So sure I was to become something great and/or do something great with my life. Not to say I can't or won't now but in those days it seemed as if it were right around the corner. Life was just begging me to mold it into whatever shape I wished. Whereas now I feel my ambitions are just as strong and noble, they just don't seem so easily attained. So at the end of the day I have learned more about myself and hopefully am the better for it. Will you see "happy" things from now on? Maybe. Will you continue to see "dark" things? Most likely. All I can say is that whether or not my writings are "happy", "dark" or somewhere in between, they will be honest and may give whoever decides to read this a little insight into my mind. Maybe even a little into your own mind.

Who are you whom I love?

Are you the wind? Cool and soothing, gently blowing through my hair.

Are you a wild flower? Growing among the mighty trees or perhaps in the open meadows. Beautiful to the eyes and sweet-smelling.

Are you a mountain stream? Clear, cool and refreshing. Bringing life to all around you.

Are you the moon? Bright and beautiful, calming my soul with one look. Leading and guiding those of the night.

Who are you whom I love?

You are the one whom I love

You and Me

You and me are a curious thing, you and me just keep wondering.

You and me do nothing but sway, you and me hold each other and drift away.

You and me used to be so full of life, you and me now stand on the edge of the knife.

You and me is beautiful, you and me is painful.

You and me might be ending, you and me could have a new beginning.

Waiting

Waiting for you,

What am I to do,

Trying to wait on you,

It's not an easy task,

Every time just getting your mask,

I want to break through and see the real you,

But every time I try guess who,

The mask is there and the wall is up,

But I just keep trying like a love sick pup,

Don't misunderstand my meaning,

My love goes much deeper than just a feeling,

I would say I've proven that by now,

Anytime you want just ask me how,

And I'll keep doing it until I break through,

Until I get to the real you,

Waiting on you,

What do I have to do?

Cold Hand

So cold and alone,

I stand here on my own,

Waiting for you to call me on the phone,

But no more will I do it,

No more will I put myself through it,

I love you and that much should be clear,

But I will not let this become the fear,

The fear that drowns me and drives me to just one more beer,

The fear that binds me, destroys me and darkens my soul,

The fear that kills me, breaks me and turns my heart black as coal,

I will stay strong, pure and true to my cause,

No matter how many times you point out my flaws,

So cold and alone I stand....

Wondering all the while if you'll ever reach out and take my hand....

In the Shadows We Roam

In the shadows I roam,

Always trying to find my way home,

Trying to find peace within,

My very soul wearing thin.

I will remain here,

I will not give in to the fear,

I will continue to be strong,

This trial will not continue long.

In the shadows you roam,

But I will be here if you want to come home,

You keep trying to find peace within,

But I see your very soul wearing thin.

I will remain here,

I will not let you give into the fear,

I will help you to be strong,

For this trial will not continue long.

In the shadows we roam,

Wondering how we got so far from home,

But we will find peace within,

Our souls will not always be worn so thin.

We will remain here,

We will not give into the fear,

We will be strong,

Because I promise this trial will not continue for long.